Feast of The Holy Family (2023)

Among the Christmas cards I received over the holidays was one from a family of former parishioners. The card included a family newsletter recounting the family’s significant life events over the past year. Some people are critical of the practice of sending family updates during the holidays because they feel people use newsletters to brag about family accomplishments. I enjoy them. They update me on the lives of people I was close to in previous assignments but don’t get the opportunity to see very often.

The news of a significant family event that happened this year made this newsletter stand out. They had adopted a son. That isn’t all that extraordinary, except that the son is a man in his early thirties. The new parents are pushing into their seventies. The note reminded me of how the adoption process came about. The adopted son is a friend of the couple’s biological son. When both young men were in high school, the adopted son’s family life fell apart. It was an abusive situation. The couple discovered their son’s friend was homeless, so they took him into their home. What initially was supposed to be a temporary stop-gap measure turned into a more permanent one. The couple eventually applied to become the son’s friend’s foster parents. The boy made his home with my friends and became a part of their family. He lived with them until he moved out to live on his own as a young adult.

We might feel the foster family has done enough for the man, but no, they decided to make him an integral member of their family. That comes at a cost to both the family and the young man. As an adopted son, the young man becomes a legal heir. That means he is entitled to a share of my friend’s estate. Their biological children now have a smaller portion.

The family now has full responsibility towards their new member. Regardless of his strength of character, he doubtlessly carries childhood trauma. His new family members now make his past theirs. He now assumes his new family’s history and background. They must try to support him and accept the weight of his past despite not being responsible for it.

Adoption means the young man needs to accept sacrifice, too. As a member of a new family, he must assent to his new family’s traditions, customs, and obligations of faith. He now shares responsibilities for possibly caring for his adoptive parents, one of whom has a chronic health problem. Being part of a family has both benefits and obligations. It is intriguing that both the new parents and the adoptive child desire to assume these responsibilities and a new relationship at an advanced age.

Today, we hear how Abraham and Sarah found themselves in a new relationship with God at an advanced age. The reading from the Book of Genesis read:

“The word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision saying:

‘Fear not, Abram!

I am your shield;

I will make your reward very great.’”

God declares a new level of relationship with Abraham. We might recall God calling Abram to leave his home and family in Ur to go out into the desert and discover a new rapport with God as he wandered on the way to a new home in an unknown promised land.

Despite Abram and God having a special relationship, Abraham and Sarah have no family of their own. Their only heirs are their servants. Children are a blessing from God, and in ancient days, to be childless and sterile was thought to be a sign of disfavor from God for a couple.  

During his encounter with God, Abraham challenges God and asks why he has no children if God favors him. God accepts responsibility for Abraham’s situation and promises Abraham he will be the father of a numerous and great family. He will be the patriarch of a nation. Abraham and Sarah will enter into a whole new covenant relationship with God. God is a faithful God, and Sarah becomes pregnant within the period God pledged. Despite being old, Abraham and Sarah can establish their own family and have a deeper friendship with God.

God extends that same invitation to all of us to become part of God’s family through baptism. At one point in the gospel, when Jesus’ extended family comes and tries to force him to stop his preaching and come home, he proclaims that anyone who accepts his preaching and follows him is his mother, father, sisters, and brothers. His adopted family is those willing to accept new traditions and alternative customs and obligations of faith.

Today’s feast of the Holy Family asks us to pause and consider our role in the holy family, which is God’s spiritual family. Today, Abraham and the Holy Family of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus call us to deepen our relationship with God regardless of age. There can be a tendency in our faith life to become set in our ways and believe we can’t grow any deeper in our relationship with God. We have set prayer patterns and practices and don’t want to shake them up. Therefore, we fear change and resist God’s call for renewal and the deepening of our faith.

Abraham and Sarah offer us models of openness to change even as we age. Even though it seemed preposterous that they could conceive a child in their old age, they still trusted God. They allowed themselves to deepen their faith in God and believed God would keep the promise of a family for them. Experiencing God’s trustworthiness allowed them to grow in faith throughout their lives.

Young people can neglect their relationship with God, feeling pressure from other concerns in life. They think their relationship with God is something to be put off until later in life. The Holy Family’s faithfulness is an example of the strengthening faith in God gives those who work on a trusting relationship with God. As they visited the Temple and met Simone and Anna, Joseph and Mary were reminded of the joys and challenges of family life. Suffering and pain would come their way, but the grace to face its challenges would come with trust in God. If they were faithful to God, God would comfort them with a strong relationship with the Father.

As we enter the new year, reflect on your relationship with God. Do we want it to grow in 2024? Are we willing to position ourselves to be receptive to God’s love and desire for a more meaningful relationship with us? A relationship with God doesn’t just happen. It takes time and effort. It needs prayer. As the new year begins, give prayer a shot. To start, set aside as little as ten minutes at a convenient time of day and a suitable place for prayer. Consider using a few verses of sacred scripture to stimulate your communication with God. Gradually add to your prayer time.

Deepen your sense of community with your parish family this year. Recognize you are part of an adopted family of faith where you must contribute to its life and success. Make an investment in becoming a more active member of our parish this year. Don’t be satisfied with just being a consumer of parish life sitting in the pew without contributing your gifts back to help strengthen our parish family.

In the new year, work to strengthen your relationship with God and God’s kingdom so you can be recognized as God’s adopted son or daughter worthy of the name.