2nd Sunday of Lent (2024)

I think most of us are familiar with the cartoon “Family Circus.” The now-deceased Bill Keane began drawing it decades ago, but other cartoonists continue to illustrate it today. It runs every day in the Cape Cod Times. The cartoon focuses on the interaction of a family of four young children and their parents. After Mass last Sunday, Deacon Art related one of the recent cartoons. It depicts the father trying to teach the oldest boy, Billy, who is about age six, good manners. The father asks his son, “‘What do you say when you want something?’ Little Billy responds, ‘I’m offended!’”

We live in a culture where everyone seems quick to take offense. If someone feels hurt, upset, or insulted by someone else’s words or actions, they want to punish them. If the offender is a notable or a celebrity, the offended may wish to marginalize them completely. They want to cause financial and social hardship, on them. This reaction is referred to as Cancel Culture.

Last week, I told you that Deacon Art and I would give a series of homilies this Lent on the topic, “No Offense.” We are speaking about the damage being overly sensitive to offenses can do to us and how we can learn to deal with offenses better so they don’t sap away the joy God wants for us.

Three key facts exist about taking offense to words or actions in life. First, daily experiencing offenses is inevitable. There are countless instances where we can take or give offense every day. People can say thoughtless and careless words that hurt. We can all act like jerks, even unintentionally, when we speak before we think. We can take offense quickly. Sometimes, people think they are making an innocent comment or, while rushing to get something done, they are insensitive to others and offend them.

Perceived offenses are one of two types of offenses. They are the larger class. Occasionally, we take offense to actions and remarks because, unbeknown to the offender, they have stroked a wound from our past. Perceived offenses are the common indignations that violate our sensibilities. Something from our past surfaces when an offender innocently touches a nerve or disparages our worldview or biases. These are perceived offenses because no one intended to hurt us, and no lasting harm or injury was inflicted. We are offended because the comment burst our self-image, insecurities, and lack of confidence. The comment may have touched upon our education level, appearance, weight, clothing, or social status. Some people seem to be offended by everything. They appear to go through their lives looking for perceived offenses, so they have something to rant about.

Other times, we are offended because the truth challenges us. Our prejudices are exposed, and we are forced to view our world in a different light. We take offense because the need to change confronts us, and we resist it.

All the great moral leaders were sometimes offensive because they challenged our culture, community standards, and commonly held false beliefs. People like Martin Luther King, Jr, Joan Biaz, and William Lloyd Garrison were all found to be offensive. Jesus often offended people. When He reached out to people on the fringes of society- the poor, sick, sinful, and the Gentiles-people took offense to it. They resisted His preaching against what was the status quo. They became indignant and offended when Jesus faulted the religious authorities’ actions and words. Jesus was so offensive that they hung Him to die on the cross.

There are some genuine offenses. People will do hurtful things to us. They will lie about us, try to humiliate us and defame us. People will do intentionally harmful things to us. These people aren’t only strangers but can be those who say they love us. Family and friends can sometimes be the ones who wound us the most.

The second truth about offenses is that they are a trap. Being overly sensitive about offenses blocks us from enjoying life and living to our full potential. When we are quick to take offense, we can become self-absorbed, self-centered, and selfish. We begin to grow a sense of entitlement and believe everyone owes us an apology and compensation for our hurt feelings. Taking offense too quickly is a trap that takes hold of our hearts, and we begin to nourish hurt, anger, jealousy, and bitterness.  

Our third truth about offenses is we can control their power over us. We have the choice to react to them or not. We have a say over whether we allow offenses to manipulate us. We can eliminate them from dominating our lives if we want to.

Last week, I said that we must repent to rid ourselves of the power offense has over us. Repent can have negative connotations in modern usage. It conjures up images of doom and gloom. Repent actually means to turn away from offenses and resist their power. Repent, I said, is to turn towards God and God’s love and away from the power offense has over us. If we believe God, who tells us we are good and wonderfully made, offense loses its power over us.

That can be easier said than done. It is challenging to let go of offenses. Fr. Michael White tells other priests that when it comes to their mail, cards are good, letters are bad. If people have something positive to say or want to thank you for your kindness, they send a card. If you find a plain white #10 business envelope in your mail, it is a complaint.

About a month ago, one of those letters appeared in my mail. It was addressed to my attention with heavily inscribed print block letters. There was no return address. I reluctantly opened it, and sure enough, it was a letter of complaint. The anonymous letter writer told me that I was doing everything wrong and I was a horrible priest. The writer made several demands that, if I were to follow, would corrupt the Mass, marginalize people in need, and sanction sin.

I ripped the letter into small pieces and threw it away, but I was fuming for the rest of the day. Lunch gave me indigestion. While working in the afternoon, anger came out of my nostrils. When I was tossing the ball to my dog on the fifth fairway, it went much farther than usual. My rage boiled up at supper and throughout the evening. I couldn’t believe someone said those things about me. I wasn’t ready to let go of my wrath even as I examined my conscience at Night Prayer. I was so offended. After a night’s sleep, my rage had finally dissipated, but it still simmered at the back of my mind.

Taking offense causes pain, and it is harmful to hold on to it. Rather than taking offense, I needed to put the criticism in its proper context. Undoubtedly, the letter writer was a person dealing with some personal demons. They were wrestling with greed, selfishness, and anger. Rather than taking offense, I probably should have been praying that they could open their heart to Jesus’ love and let Him free them from whatever was causing them to strike out at me.

Today’s Second Reading from Paul’s Letter to the Romans tells us one truth that can help us overcome anger when we feel offended. Paul’s Letter to the Romans is often called the “Gospel  According to Paul” because it explains his systematic theology, or Paul’s understanding of who God is and how God acts in the world and our lives.

Despite being a tent maker by trade, Paul was incredibly intellectual, so, at times, the Letter to the Romans is quite dense. There weren’t universities in Paul’s day, but if there were, Romans would have been his doctoral dissertation. It includes some of Paul’s most beautiful and encouraging verses of scripture. Verses like

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Imagine if we believed that. Imagine if we thought God was always on our side and wanted only good for us. You ask yourself how that medical prognosis can possibly be for my good. If God only wants good for me, how come I wrecked my car? Why did my loved one die?

Paul isn’t saying God will prevent all suffering and pain in our lives. Bad things happen in our world. Horrible things like the shooting at the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl celebration, willful lying, and politicians’ refusal to govern for the common good or address problems like war in our world happen. They are not part of God’s will, though.  

God has a perfect will; God’s desire is for no sin or evil in our world. Then there is God’s permissive will, which gives us free will to choose to obey God. Sin stains our world, and bad things happen to good people. Paul isn’t saying that everything that happens is good. Paul tells us that God can bring good out of evil. God is always working with us to turn evil into good. God is always working with those who love Him.

I believe this desire to bring good from evil is bred into our DNA. How many times do we hear of the family and friends of a young person who dies in an accident or by some tragic means moving to establish a foundation or trust fund to perpetuate their memory and help other young people?

We don’t get everything we pray for in life, which can confuse us. Then, we later realize what we prayed for would have been detrimental to us. It would have brought unforeseen harmful consequences. Later, we learn how God took a bad situation and gave us a better one.

God allows us to experience some of life’s suffering and pain to help us grow in character. Jesus suffered gossip and misunderstanding but refused to take offense. When people were unflattering, Jesus loved His enemies. He used disagreements to understand His adversaries better. God can always turn evil into good.

Paul tells us that people who offend us or take offense to us can’t thwart our trying to live faithful lives. God is so on our side. The Father loves us so much He sent Jesus into our world to take up the cross. God so loved the world that, like Abraham, He was willing to sacrifice His only Son. The Father will hold nothing back to help us experience the fullness of life. He will do everything possible to help us, not allow offense to control or define us.  

On the Second Sunday of Lent, we read one of the three accounts of Jesus’ Transfiguration. Before He went to Jerusalem to die, Jesus wanted His three closest apostles to observe His divinity shine through His humanity. Jesus did that to strengthen their faith before they witnessed His tragic death on the cross. The Transfiguration enabled the three apostles to see things as they are.

When we are offended, we often lose sight of reality. Rage and hurt cloud our vision of reality. When we feel that way,  recall Paul’s words from his Letter to the Romans. Personalize verse 31 by retranslating, “If God is for me, who can be against me?” When we convince ourselves of that, we will give no offense that comes from anyone power over our wellbeing.