1st Sunday of Lent (2024)

“Cancel Culture” is a 21st-century phenomenon. It happens when someone- or a group- takes offense to someone else’s words or actions and wants others to condemn and ostracize them. Maybe the offender has said or done something distasteful, rude, unkind, or annoying, and the offended party intends to damage the transgressor economically and socially. “Cancel Culture” can also occur when a celebrity or notable person uses poor judgment and commits an action that others find hurtful. The lapse can be a recent occurrence or something that happened years ago and only came to light recently, but the offended party wants to marginalize whoever hurt them. It seems more and more people are taking offense to others these days.

This Lent, Deacon Art and I will give a series of homilies we’re calling “No Offense.” We want to use this season of reflection to help parishioners recognize how they might be overly sensitive to perceived offenses and how to deal with them so they don’t control our lives.

An offense can be serious, such as a violation of a law, rule, or norm of behavior. Sometimes, it is minor, such as actions or words that are distasteful, unpleasant, rude, or annoying. Please don’t confuse offense with abusive behavior. Physical, sexual, or psychological abuse is another matter that we don’t mean to marginalize or dismiss the pain they cause a victim.

I want to start by sharing three facts about offenses. First, offenses are inevitable in our lives. We will run into situations every day where we can be offended or offer offense. We all can, at times, act like jerks. We can be thoughtless, insensitive, and careless. People can also be nosy and prying at times. When we don’t take the time to stand in the place of another, we can be hurtful to them.

I’m an identical twin, and when I was younger, I’d feel offended by people who wouldn’t make an effort to distinguish between my brother and me. When they presumed we liked all the same things and would always react in the same way, I felt offended.

Perceived and Real are the two kinds of offenses we encounter. Perceived is probably the largest class of offenses. They are the unintentional little slights we experience often. We believe we are being slighted now because of some experience from our past. Maybe someone once spoke to or acted hurtfully towards us, so we presume everyone we encounter who responds to us that way is out to hurt us. Perceived offenses are unintended incidents when the committer had no intention to harm us.

I remember an incident from years ago when I was a hospital chaplain. I was in the ICU with the family of a dying older woman. She had lived a good, faithful life, and she and her family were ready to embrace her death. I noticed that one of the granddaughters looked to me to be pregnant. I felt it was very symbolic that one member of the family was dying as a new life was about to enter the world. I asked the woman if she was pregnant. She emphatically answered no! Why does everyone think I’m pregnant? I apologized, and luckily, her parents helped smooth over the situation, but I never presumed anyone was pregnant again.

Some perceived offenses are attributable to our sensitivity. While being of no lasting harm, they hit a nerve and make us get our guard up. Such slights often touch upon our children. Parents can be especially defensive about others being critical of their children. My father could be that way. I remember telling him about some unfair behavior inflicted on me by a school teacher or another adult. He would respond, “Why didn’t you tell me about it? I would have marched down there and confronted them.” I always thought to myself, “I know; that is why you’re only hearing about it now.”

Little offenses can ruin our whole day. A feeling of being dismissed, overlooked, or marginalized causes us to fume for hours if someone finds fault with us or our actions. These offenses are often driven by our insecurity and a lack of confidence. We wouldn’t feel offended if we could only learn to laugh at ourselves.  

Some people go through life constantly feeling offended. Small things seem to set them off, and they begin to rant on and on about the hurt they feel. You can’t speak about politics, religion, or a whole list of topics without causing them to react angrily.

Others become offended when faced with their prejudices and faults. They refuse to believe they have any failings. Martin Luther King and most advocates for social change faced opposition because they pointed out many of our societal shortcomings, and people took offense.  

Jesus offended many people, often intentionally. In His day, He confronted the hypocrisy of the religious authorities and the lack of social justice and compassion. Many people took offense at Jesus because He challenged their worldview. Some people fear, resist, and take offense to any change; just read the Letters to the Editor in the Cape Cod Chronicle.

Not all offenses should be brushed aside because they are only slight. Some people do things meant to hurt us and the ones we love. Some bullies call people names, question their legitimacy, and make false accusations against others. They lie and gossip about us and intentionally cheat us. Sin is a stain upon our world, and even our loved ones can purposely offend us at times. No one goes through life without being offended or offending others.

Being easily offended can be a trap that handicaps us and keeps us from living life to its full potential. Since we have been offended, we begin to feel a sense of entitlement. We believe the world owes us an apology, and it must stop to caress our ego. Too quickly taking offense can cause us to spend valuable time and energy nourishing anger, outrage, bitterness, and strife. It forces us to have a heavy heart and become self-centered. We can become narcissistic and begin to believe every hurt we suffer reflects on us.

We don’t have to be victims of offense. We have choices about how we handle offenses. We can find a spiritually healthy response to them. God’s behavior shows us the path to overcoming offense. In today’s First Reading from the Book of Genesis, God took offense at the people’s sinfulness. He sent a flood that devastated the land. Then, in its wake, He established a covenant with Noah. It was a covenant that God would renew with the people after every time they offended him. Time and time again, the prophets would warn the people they were offending God and call them to repent. When they turned back to God, God would offer mercy and renew His covenant, and they would be faithful again.

Lent is our season to prepare us for God showing us how generous God is in the face of our offenses. The next six weeks are our Catholic time of preparation to reflect on God generously allowing His only begotten Son to come to earth to save us from our offenses. The Father sent the Son to reveal that God wants to offer us salvation and the gift of eternal life despite our offenses.

Mark tells us in today’s gospel that at the beginning of His ministry, Jesus was driven into the desert by the Holy Spirit so the devil could tempt Him. Forty days in the desert were part of the Father’s plan for Jesus to build up His resistance to the temptation to take offense at His mission.

Temptation is part of everyone’s life. We are all tempted to take offense but can overcome it if we avoid putting ourselves in temptation’s way. Resist the places and the company of people who tempt you to become offended. Refuse to internalize offenses; don’t let them weigh on your heart.  

In this series, Deacon Art and I will try to help you acquire the skills to resist the temptation to take offense needlessly. When we give into the temptation to take offense, we have the strength and power to kick it out of our hearts if we try. The more we resist offense, the better we can prevent it from entering our lives.

Repentance is the best way to eliminate offense. That was the first thing Jesus proclaimed as He began His public ministry. The word “repent” often has a bad connotation today. It conjures up images of fanaticism and apocalyptic fantasies. I want to give you another image to associate with the word. The word’s roots mean to change your mind so you can change your behavior. It means turning away from harmful things and getting a fresh start. The Holy Spirit convicts us and helps us feel the remorse to want to change and repent.

People often have the wrong impression of God. They imagine God is out to find fault with them so that God can punish them. That isn’t God’s plan at all. God wants a relationship of love with us. God wants us to leave our past behind to have a fresh start. Jesus came to forgive our sins and give us the power to let go of our hurts. Others might not have treated us well, but God always treats us better than we deserve.  

This Lent, use your time in prayer to ask God to help you repent. Turn away from harsh judgments of others and of yourself. Recall that, as Paul wrote, God is always for us, so who can be against us, least of all you. This Lent, repent of the notion that life is intended to be easy for any of us. We all face challenges and hurdles to jump. We shouldn’t take offense.

I want to get your commitment to plan to attend Mass every weekend of Lent. This series of homilies will help you learn more practical ways to help overcome taking offense so you can live life with more joy and satisfaction. Also, please think about your attitude regarding taking offense. This week, take a few minutes to list situations where you tend to take offense. If you identify them, you can repent of them and change your mind about being quick to take offense.

Lent is a time to open your heart to God’s grace through practicing the Lenten disciplines of Fasting, almsgiving, and prayer. God is anxious to have you let his presence into your life so you can lighten your heart and stop carrying the burden of feelings of offense.